Feeling guilty for feeling sad. Being a human sucks.

  1. I am moral-less. Or at least I wish I were. I have a really hard thing to do which will suck for someone I really care about (even love as a friend). And it makes me so sad. But I feel as though I can’t even be sad because I should care more about how this affecrs her more than it affects me. I cried alot over this, and I will continue crying over this. But I wish I could just remove the feelings from this friend instead of feeling better myself. I am shocked at what my job has me do. I am shocked that my job is so difficult. I am so shocked at the fact that my job, which involves working with people, is so mean and moral-less. I know I am paid for this stuff… But it hurts to hurt people. Especially those you love. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten close to anyone at work. Maybe I shoul have just stayed anti-social (against my personnality) so that if decisions were imposed at my job, I could do it easily instead of being hurt by hurting someone I love. And how could I even expect anyone to understand what is happening. How could I expect anyone to even try to forgive me. I don’t even deserve it. Is my job stealing my soul? Am I becoming an empty shell?

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