Posts Tagged ‘love’

What a wonderful life!

It is smoldering hot outside. I am loving this weather! Beats shoveling the car out of the snow!

I am at peace with life these days. Seems like nothing could penetrate this hapiness to ruin it. 

Work is going great as usual! I am still working at my favorite daycare, earning a good living taking care of wonderful boys whom I adore. 

At home, my kids are getting older and more and more beautiful. I feel so lucky to have created such wonderful daughters. 

My eldest is thriving in school. She is doing wonderfully in all her classes and doing so well in cadets too, she’s already a corporal. She also sings wonderfully! 

My middle child is so bright, everyone who meets her is charmed by her. She is so quick to make friends and is growing so fast! She was adopted by my husband and she is so happy! Thy have such a wonderful and unique relationship! they are a great team. A natural team. 

My youngest is talking more qnd more. She reminds me of my two other children when they were her age. She is silly and naughty and very smart. I can’T believe I am so lucky to have her. 

Hubby dearest is my savior. Just when I had lost hope that there were decent men out there, He came into my life and showed me what a good relationship is all about. He constantly shows me how much he loves me and makes me happy. 

I am singing in my choir and absolutely adoring it. The women in this choir are so nice and happy. We are singing so many songs too! I am carrying a binder with all the sheet music we sing with and it weighs a ton. We have sweet adelines competitions in May and I would really like to kick ass!

I am having lots of fun with all my friends this summer. Nothing better than a glass of vino tinto on the balcony with some friends, just messing around and having a good time. I love that summer allows people to go outside and be social! I am doing a nice garden with my neighbors and it is actually growing nicely! The fruit of our work is coming. 

I think that being in love, having a great family, and a beautiful home is totally helping me love life. 

So, dearest friends and followers, have a great summer! I wish you to be happy. Blessed be!

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shared custody is annoying

Shared custody isn’t always easy.

 

I am living it with my oldest daughter. She is almost 12 years old now. She visits her father on Sundays for a few hours. It is never at the same time, and it is never sure. If it were up to me, I would keep her all the time, no parental visits.

I get along with my ex (most of the time) but I really like having my daughter around, and really try to have a stable life for her, where most things are foreseeable and predictable.

Plus, it seems like our jammed-packed week-ends require our children all the time. For example, on Saturday, we rush to do some home cleaning so we can rush to a family member’s house for supper and get home at crazy middle of the night hours. Every family member wants to see all my children at once. If one of my daughters are not present, they feel cheated… so I have to plan everything weeks in advance.

BUT, I have a very large family (especially since I got married, my family doubled) and one day a week-end is not enough, so I also need to visit people on Sundays. But my7 daughter has to be somewhere else on Sundays. OR, I plan for an outing, and my daughter cannot participate. If I were to change the days for the house cleaning, it would mean that my daughter would never participate in the helping, which I think it super important.

 

So there, then there is the whole ‘what time will she leave and come back because we have to be there for her.’ Which, in her case, varies every week. She sometimes has to call her dad up and wake him up at 10 am to make sure he doesn’t forget her. It has actually been a few weeks that her dad has not made himself available to her. This saddens her, but I have to say, it makes our life much easier.

 

My other daughter has no other parent to visit. I had an ex, who decided that making plans with her through me was too complicated. So he does not get the chance to see her at all.

By this I mean that, we broke up in a very friendly way. We both knew our break-up was the most important thing to do since we were poisoning our lives, but as soon as I said that he would not get a shared custody of my child, he flipped out and became the crappiest ex ever. I had told him that if he wanted to see my daughter (It isn’t his daughter at all since he did not conceive her and I never allowed for the adoption) he would have to ask me first and not make plans with her directly. (She was 5 years old and shouldn’t have to decide things like this.

 

My ex became very angry with me and decided to make a war, treat me like garbage and continue planning things with my five-year-old without my consent.

My daughter, who is now seven years old, keeps getting letters and holiday cards from him telling her about his new life and his whereabout, and how accessible he is for her so she can visit him and see him in the week-ends. BUT, in the meanwhile, he never asks her guardian (me, the mommy) for permission to see her.

His parents are asking my permission to see her, and I agree. I told them that they can visit with her some Sundays. The only important detail is that she remains my daughter and she remains with me the whole time.  I don’t let my daughter go to simile stranger’s houses to visit with them or to the restaurant either. She has not seen them for over two years, and quite frankly. I know I am only letting this happen for my ex’s parents. My daughter barely remembers these people. But when they did see her, they were always nice to her. They were good step-ish grandparents. My daughter has no bad souvenirs of them. So I won’t mind if they see her one day.

The most important thing is that they were respectful of the normal rules… As a mother, I will not let my child visit with anyone without them asking me priorly. They also have apologised for their lack of civility and manners. I guess that they found that their ego wasn’t worth losing sight of a wonderful girl like my daughter. They had bashed me when their son and I had separated, but later, they came to realise that I had told them that they could still visit with my daughter, that I wasn’t breaking up with them and that they had been cool with my daughter.

What is most important for me is that my daughters (all three of them) are surrounded by people who love them and respect them. My job is to make sure that happens. And I don’t tolerate anyone just coming by and deciding things for them without my approval. I get life-quality control and refuse for my daughters, until a later age, to meet up with anyone without my approval.

My job is also to ensure that my kids have access to people who only want what is best for them.

I don’t have an issue with my youngest daughter. Her father and I are happily married. We often visit eachother’s families which makes a very nice environment for her. She is loved by all angles. In fact, both families consider all three of my children to be their own grandchildren/neice and treat them so kindly and welcomly. My children are surrounded by morally and mentally sane people that love them so very much. I don’T have any doubts that I am doing my mothering job well when it comes to knowing that my children are surrounded by people that are good to them.

And that is what love is all about. Not only do I make them benefit from my love, but good people’s love too.